Sadie: How our train of thought goes, @squeakpigsrevenge:
sadieandmo: lol, Sherlock is so orally fixated. 😛
squeakpigsrevenge: Yup. Dummies are a god send. It keeps pens, glasses, fingers, cigarettes, and all manor of other things out of his mouth.
sadieandmo: That’s why they have so many at both homes. Nothing quiets Sherlock down faster than a dummy or a warm bottle.
squeakpigsrevenge: Though in a pinch his thumb will do. Though John prefers not. He has lovely teeth. It would be a shame if they were ruined.
sadieandmo: Though when he does get in the mood, he prefers dummies. He’s also a chewer.
squeakpigsrevenge: He blames Jawn for all the dummies with holes in the nipples but that’s only half true
sadieandmo: That’s nothing he’d ever admit, though…mostly because he’s never aware he’s doing it until the damage is done.
squeakpigsrevenge: They buy several teething dummies, and that works for a while. Until Sherlock chokes on a bit he chewed off.
sadieandmo: Thankfully, it hadn’t been large enough to completely cut off his airway….it just got caught in his throat and made him cough until he eventually got it up. Still, he was wrecked for the rest of the day.
squeakpigsrevenge: They had pa’scicles cause Sherlock’s throat hurt.
sadieandmo:
John was furious. “They make these things for kids, for christ’sakes!” he shouts as he tosses the ruined dummy out.
“Most children aren’t chewing them with a full set of teeth,” Mycroft calmly points out, bouncing Sherlock in his lap.
squeakpigsrevenge:
“Still. I’m going to send them an email.”
Mycroft rolled his eyes. Dramatics as usual at 221B.
sadieandmo:
Mycroft thinks about asking what John thinks he’s going to say in this email; that his 40 year old baby nearly strangled on their product that was not specifically intended for him?
But he doesn’t, not with said baby in the room and John already shouting. “We’ll just have to watch him using his dummies more closely,” he says, looking down at him. “Perhaps look into other forms of teething rings.”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“We could try those rubber dog biscuits.” Greg offers, not looking up from his paper.
John looks made enough to spit.
“Bis’sits!” Sherlock claps his hands.
sadieandmo:
“See? Makes’im happy.” Greg reaches over with one hand and pinches Sherlock’s cheek, making him squeal.
“He’s not getting a dog toy.”
“Why not? They’re basically the same as baby toys…they’re furry and they squeak.”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“Bis’sit?” Sherlock held up his hands, waiting for his treat.
“He wouldn’t be able to chew it to bits.” Mycroft shrugged, pulling Sherlock’s hands down and covering them with kisses.
“Your both seriously suggesting…”
sadieandmo:
“Who else would care?” Greg folded his paper down and shrugged. “It’s not like it’d be a used one or anythin’.”
“It’s. A. Dog. Toy.”
“How about we let Sherlock decide.” Greg turns to Sherlock, who’s still sitting in Mycroft’s lap and giggling at his brother. “ ‘ey, Sherlock, would you care if you got a new dog toy this afternoon?”
“Greg!..”
Sherlock turned to him, his eyes wide. “Puppy?”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“Yep, a toy for a puppy.”
Sherlock turned wide eyes to John, “puppy, Da’yee?”
“No, love, we cannot have a puppy.”
“Puppy, My’coff?” Sherlock pulled out his best puppy dog eyes, wobbly lip and all.
“We’re talking about a toy to chew on. Not a new pet.”
“A boy needs a dog.”
“Puppy?”
“You wanna take care of it?!?!”
sadieandmo:
“I wouldn’t mind, actually. We’ve already got two part-time gremlins that live here; a third can’t hurt.” Greg gave John a look and snapped his paper back up.
“Gregory…”
“Yes, love?”
“Don’t be incendiary.”
Sherlock took turns looking between all three men while chewing on a finger. “…Pu’bby?”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“You already have a puppy. Where is Gladstone?”
“G’ads’one?” Sherlock looked around the table for his puppy but shrugged at John. “Puppy?”
“Great. Thank you, Greg,” John huffed, pointing a finger at him, “You are dealing with this strop.”
“I’ll deal with it by getting him a p-u-p-p-y.”
sadieandmo:
“The hell you will.”
“The hell I will.”
“It can live at your house, then!“
"Fine!”
Mycroft covers Sherlock’s ears. “The bloody hell it will! Gregory!”
Greg heaves a sigh and puts his paper aside…he wasn’t going to get to finish it that day. “I don’t see what the bloody deal about getting a smart-sized dog! It’d be good for both of them!”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“We already change nappies! If you think I’m cleaning up dog mess…”
“PUPPY?” Sherlock near shouted. He couldn’t hear anything with My’coff’s huge hands on his ears.
“You change far fewer nappies than I do, dearest.” Greg gave Mycroft an insincere smoochy face. “I imagine I’d be responsible for this bit as well.”
Mycroft’s indignant face was almost worth the real fight that would happen later.
sadieandmo:
“I change plenty of nappies.”
“Such as the time Sherlock caught that stomach bug that had him firin’ from both ends, and you were nowhere to be seen for two days?”
Mycroft scoffed. “I couldn’t afford to get sick then..”
“Still. Honestly, we could make a dog happen…between the three of us working on a regular basis, Sherlock’s here by himself most of the week, ‘cept for weekends.”
“And that’s supposed to be a plus for your side of the argument?”
“Come off it, you told me he was great with his dog, and that was back when he really was a kid!”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“He’d experiment on it,” John frowned, “Hell, he experiments on us.”
“If he experiments on the dog, we wallop his behind.”
Mycroft and John stared at each other before looking at the baby.
Sherlock, who’d given up, was leaning against Mycroft’s chest, sucking his fingers, Mycroft’s hands still covering his ears.
“Nana is going to be pissed off.”
“He could share his rubber biscuits.” Greg smirked.
sadieandmo:
“Greg I’m gonna kick your arse.”
“Don’t make me wash your mouth out.”
John glares at him, then leans against the kitchen counter and hangs his head. “I can’t believe it. It started with dummies.”
Greg beamed and stood proudly, victorious. “D’yah hear that, Sherlock? You get a…!” Greg looks down and stops, the nudges Mycroft. “Uncover his ears already!”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“You’ve tricked us. This wasn’t as spur of the moment as it seems.” Mycroft glared at him, slowly moving his hands from Sherlock’s shoulders to his hips. “I’ll get you.”
“And my little dog, too?”
“Puppy?”
“Yep.” Greg clapped and rubbed his hands together. “I met a guy a few weeks ago. His puppies will be old enough to adopt any day now.”
“Puppy?!!!!” Sherlock bolted out of Mycroft’s lap.
sadieandmo:
John and Mycroft shared a look as Greg practically swept Sherlock up off his feet.
“ ‘Met a guy’, hm? Mycroft drawled.
"Knew ‘im from work; he trains the sniffer dogs.”
“The sniffer-!?” John gapes at him. “You’re talking about a BLOODHOUND?! What happened to a smart-sized dog?”
“Nah,” Greg scoffed, and would have waved John away if he hadn’t had both hands under Sherlock’s bum.“One of his studs got loose and got his neighbor’s dog knocked up. The pups’ll get no bigger than a cocker spaniel.”
“Pu’bby, Da’yee!” Sherlock twisted in Greg’s arms and gave John a stunningly happy smile. “I ge’d a pu’bby!” he said again, his eyes shiny.
squeakpigsrevenge:
John deflated. Who in hell could say no to that. “Yea. Looks like.”
“This is a horrendous idea.” Mycroft told no one in particular.
“You can even pick which one you want.”
“Pi’ pu’bby?” Sherlock brought his hands to Greg’s cheeks, gently touching.
“Yes. You get to pick which puppy should join our family.”
“Three piddle monsters, destroying my rugs and keeping me from a good nights sleep.”
“Mycroft you’re talking to yourself, love.” Greg said, dropping the baby into his lap.
sadieandmo:
“But you’ve GOT to take care of him, Sherlock,” John interjected. “You’re going to be responsible for him.”
Sherlock turned to look at John, nodding quickly. “Y’ah, y’ah! P’omise! My bay-bee!” He turned back to Greg, babbling happily.
“That means no experimenting on it.”
Sherlock stopped, then whipped around again, looking highly offended. “I wouldn’!!!!”
John cocked his eyebrow at him. “I thought the same thing about me.”
“Bu’ you big! Pu’bby isn’!”
squeakpigsrevenge:
John rolled his eyes. “Great. Good. Thanks.”
“Go ge’ bay-bee righ’ now?” Sherlock asked. John was a grumpy daddy and Sherlock took it in stride.
“Unfortunately you’ll have to be big to meet the puppies.”
“Big?”
“Yes. When we go to Steven’s house to see the puppies you’ll have to be big…biggish at least.”
“Why aren’t you using this as an opportunity to extort good behavior for years to come?” Mycroft asked John.
“Cause it’s not as if I can withhold a dog as punishment.”
sadieandmo:
“Well…”
“No.” Greg gave Mycroft a strong look.
Mycroft shrugged. “Merely a suggestion.”
“The punishments we have work well enough as is.” Greg turned back to Sherlock, who was back to chewing on his finger and looking worried. “Mycroft was just teasin’, love…no one’s gonna take away your puppy once you’ve got ‘im.”
“…Rea’yee?” Sherlock asked in a tiny voice.
“Really. Once he’s yours, he’s yours.”
squeakpigsrevenge:
“I f’ink is a girl pu’bby.”
“She will be all yours then.” Greg gave him a squeeze, giving Mycroft the evil eye over Sherlock’s head.
“When ge’ bay-bee? G’eg? When?”
“Let me call and see what time works for Steven.”
“Stee’ben gi’b me pu’bby?”
“Yep.”
“Jawn ge’ pu’bby, too?”
sadieandmo:
“One. We’re getting one puppy.”
“Well, at least he thought about me,” John said as he came around the counter. “Come on, big boy, you need a change.”
“I do?” Sherlock looked down at his lap.
“Yeah, you do,” John took Sherlock hands and helped him off Greg’s lap. “And I was gonna give you a hug, but if you don’t want one…”
***
TBC
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