We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom
- They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went
- They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE
- Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)
- They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive
- Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).
- They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.
- They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)
- They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.
- When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements
- They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.
Tag: bdsm
Everyone’s prompts are so wholesome, but I’m gross so I’d love something more on the sexually explicit side of things … Johnlock or involving Greg or Molly or whatever 🙃
Sadie:
“Slowly, Jawn, slowly…don’t rush.”
“Like this?” Jawn touched the vibrator to the front of Sherlocks’ nappy again, making the little detective gasp sharply and then throw his head back against Greg’s shoulder, moaning.
“Very good, just like that.” Greg grinned like the cat who’d caught the canary, and gave Sherlocks’ exposed neck a kiss. He held the man spread-eagle in his lap, arms pinned behind his back, thigh splayed over his own thighs, wearing nothing but a nappy and an expression of blissful agony.
A devious little doctor in similar dress knelt on the floor between their legs, taking massive, rock-hard pleasure in torturing his captured companion with a heavy duty vibrator, rubbing it slowly up and down the front of his bulging nappy.
Jawn giggled darkly as Sherlock groaned again and arched his back, trying to push himself against the source of the vibration, but Greg held him firmly in place. “No-no-no,” Greg chided, and clucked his tongue. “Good little boys have to ask first…and you are a good little boy, aren’t you? My good, beautiful little boy,” he murmured in Sherlocks’ ear as he nuzzled his nose into his dark, sweat-damp hair, and took a deep breath…
He could smell the desperation. The torment.
Sherlocks’ breath came in quick little pants; music to Greg’s ears. “G-goo’, g-good b-boy,” he stammered. “I, I’m a g-good booooOOOOOOHHHGOOOOODDDAAAAMMMMMIT!!!”
Greg’s head snapped down…Jawn had somehow managed to work the vibrator right inside the leghole of Sherlock’s nappy and while Greg had to applaud the initiative, he didn’t want their game to end so…quickly. “Jawn, no-no!”
Jawn instantly pulled the vibrator out and his it behind his back, while Sherlock keened at the loss.
“What did I say?” Greg scolded, trying to remain serious while Sherlock rocked and rutted his hips in his lap. “I said slowly, didn’t I?”
Jawn pouted, and nodded.
“Then follow directions, or you don’t get a turn.”
Jawn looked stricken. “But I want to play with his bum, too!”
“Then be a good boy for Greg and follow instructions.” Greg switched Sherlocks’ wrists to one hand, then reached around and gave the front of his nappy a good, hard squeeze, making him moan in a gorgeously pained way.
“Now, do it again…slowly.”
My thesis project, Dom & Sub, a.k.a. why I’ve been such a bad tumblr-er/bad friend/etc. My artist statement:
Dom & Sub is a body of illustrative work in digital media that attempts to humanize practitioners of BDSM and offer a representation of kinky sex that not only refutes negative stereotypes but informs the audience that sadomasochistic play is done best between happy, healthy, and consenting adults. I portrayed the couple in the work not only engaging in S&M play but also building a “scene” together and nurturing one another after the play has concluded; these are moments often left unconsidered or completely ignored in visual representations of S&M. I believe it’s important to see how kinky scenes are crafted with care, commitment to safety and enthusiastic consent in order to limit those times when sadomasochistic play is used to abuse or dehumanize other human beings. It is my hope that my audience will learn from the illustrations that sadomasochistic play is not always dark or scary, and that fellow ‘kinksters’ can enjoy tender representations of S&M that do not ridicule or pathologize them. I’ve designed the work to engage sadomasochistic imagery, material and theory with an ethical conscience.
This work now for sale at Society6.
I cannot believe I’ve never seen this whole set before. The last two, OMG!!!!!
I love the caring and loving feeling in the last pictures.
Sadie & Mo's Boutique 