Tag: squeakpigsrevenge

bbcromance:

bbcromance:

but also – why do some people write sherlock as a person who does never eat like??? it would be 1am and john will come back from the toilet to the kitchen and see sherlock eating ice cream on the floor with the fridge open wide

sherlock *removes the spoon from his mouth* : u want some?

avengersnonsexualageplay:

cabloom:

spitandvinegar:

Ok hold up for one second, let me take a short break from sowing the
ground with salt to ask: did anyone else notice how when Tony says
something like “Pepper and I are …” Steve “conceal-don’t-feel” Rogers perks right the fuck up and goes “PREGNANT??!!?!”

I say this in utter seriousness*: in the .5 seconds between “Pepper and I” and “are on a break,”
the only thoughts in Captain America’s head are “BABY! BABY! OH
BOY! UNCLE STEVE! OH BOY!” Like good lord this man is so sad and
lonely that he lights up like a goddamn lava lamp at the mere prospect
of being in proximity to family life. He parents the fuck out of
Scarlet Witch, he attempts to parent Spider-Lad while the kid is attacking him, he would probably parent
Iron Man if Tony would just hold still long enough. There is literally no
one on earth more prepared than Steve Rogers to bring someone out for
ice cream after they don’t make the football team and tell them that
he’ll always be proud of them no matter what. Captain America has got this, his body
is ready, he will be unconditionally loving and supportive to the entire
state of Minnesota, he will diaper Yellowstone National Park, he is
fully prepared to help Guam with its math homework.

If the answer to Steve’s question had been, “Yes, pregnant!” Civil War
would not have happened, because Steve would have brokered a peace in under 20 minutes, and the rest of the movie would have been
nothing but Captain America shopping for
onesies while Falcon and the Winter Soldier give each other nuclear
wedgies and Iron Man finally gets himself some therapy. Unfortunately, as there is no baby, Tony remains a man-sized pile of emotional rubble,
Bucky ends up armless and frozen instead of enjoying hours of playing punch
buggy with Sam while Cap threatens to TURN THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT
NOW, and Steve has no adorable little StarkNugget to bounce on his knee and teach
to play stickball and give all of the love in his giant patriotic heart.

In conclusion: everything is terrible, and T’Challa needs to buy Steve
an incredibly expensive Wakandan puppy or something before he starts
attempting to nurture that giant panther statue in the front yard.

*I am not actually utterly serious.

PUNK: Professional Uncle No Kids*

So… all I hear from this… is that Civil War would never have happened if Tony called Steve ‘Daddy’ and that’s okay. Also, he loves babies.

Headcanons

Sadie: Embie and I were discussing the pirate AU she reblogged earlier, and of course, that invited the question:

Embie: “
I wonder what pirate babylock would look like”

Naturally, I obliged: “
Cap’n Da’ would have him in a bandana with his hair sticking out the
sides like piggytails, and he’d have a little gold stud earring in one
ear instead of a gold hoop like the big boys. 😛

“

So now, after mucho begging and being told to hold her dipies on, I’m supplying Embie with more baby piratelock headcanons.

Feel free to add on!

  • He’d be a spoiled little thing, too–pirate coins and treasure to play
    with, pretty jewels to play dress-up in…and God help anyone else but
    the Cap’n trying to put him on the Naughty Step! They’ll walk the plank!
  • Instead of a parrot on his shoulder, Captain Watson has a little bejeweled pirate babe on his knee, gnawing on a gold chain.
  • He’s a mischievous little blighter, but the crew becomes fond of having
    him around. Then comes a night where the Cap’n has to spank him, and
    when Cap’n Watson steps out of his quarters afterwards, there’s the
    whole crew glaring at him, ready to mutiny. 

  • He loves to leave little pictures all over the ship (and parchment when he gets his hands on it) in charcoal.
  • Charcoal + Cap’n Da’s maps=why he got his bottom smacked^^^
  • The galley cook made him an extra sweetie that night^^^
  • Give him a coil of rope and he can come up with more efficient, secure knots than anyone had ever seen before. Plus, it keeps him busy for HOURS.