Littles come in every varied shape and size, so it’s hard to generalize without somebody getting a li’l bit grumpy. STILL there’s some general advice that might be useful!
When your little one is going out with or without you, it’s important to remember that a little has a great many wonderful, positive qualities…and usually a few kind of silly troubles. This guide should help you understand how to HELP your little get ready to go out, and overcome any minor issues they might have!
Step 1: Figure out where they’re going…
This can be key, because if they’re going with friends to the zoo, for example, you’re going to need to spend a long while making sure they have pants, shoes, shirt, wallet, keys, and aren’t trying to sneak in some corn or other food because they ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE themselves that if they got the chance? They would totally feed the animals, no matter what the signs say.
Step 2: AND figure out when they need to leave.
Are they going to the dentist? Well you’re going to need to get them prepared pretty early. Otherwise, they’re going to keep having “ACCIDENTAL” things come up that just unintentionally (wink wink) make them late. Basically, if it’s something like the zoo example…you’re going to need to work hard to keep them from going CRAZY OVER THE TOP EXCITED AND LEAVING 5 HOURS EARLY JUST “BECAUSE I WANNA SEE IF OSTRICHES CROW JUST LIKE ROOSTERS!” while if they’re scared, or unhappy with what they need to do, they’re more likely to “Forget” their wallet, have to come back inside to get it, then spend a few extra minutes in traffic, and just happen to “forget exactly WHERE the Dentist’s office is, so I guess I’ll need to reschedule in a week or month or year or two.”
Step 3: Do the Double Double DOUBLE check (A.K.A. the “Mommy/Daddy Careful-Super-Thorough-Extra-Cautious-Protective Check).
This is particularly important if your little tends to be a bit…flaky. Or forgetful. OR downright silly, if you prefer to call it that! But It means not just checking that they have their shoes/socks/shirt..but all the details. A sample “Double-double-double” check conversation would go as such:
Caregiver: “Do you have your phone? Wallet? Keys? Do you know the address? Did you double check it’s today, not tomorrow? Do you need me to drive you? When is it over, and do you need me to pick you up? If you want, remember you can always text me and I can come get you. Daddy/mommy is here for you, I promise!”
Little: “I AM FINE! I GOT IT!”
(and normally…)
*Five minutes later*
Little: “HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS AND PHONE AND WALLET? AND DO YOU KNOW THE ADDRESS? I WAS SUPPOSED TO ALREADY LEAVE AND I CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I PUT IT!” *Pouts grumpily*
THAT, dear friends, is why the super extra careful double-double-double check is key!
Step 4: Be prepared for trouble!
This is MOST true if it’s something the little is afraid of, like a doctor, dentist, job interview, family thing, etc. In those cases? You should just assume that you’re going to have a panicked text, or call, or something. These are the times a well-prepared caregiver might remember to have put a favorite sweet in their little’s pocket or purse, and remind them by text “just chew on the gum and think of me, you’re going to be fine!”. Or, even better, this is when having a long-term established relationship with a little is just amazing, because you probably know the exact words to calm them. “I’m here, little one” or “Daddy’s got you” can go a pretty darn long way in calming someone down. And when trouble comes (as it often does, whether we plan for it or not) then you’ll be glad you knew how to handle it!
Finally…
Step 5: You’re NEVER done Daddying (or Mommy-ing, as the case may be)
Remember also that even if a caregiver-little relationship isn’t a 24/7 dynamic for you, ANY relationship is about being there for your partner whenever you can be…and since littles TEND to be a bit on the needy side (Understatement of the millennium, hands down) they are often going to need you more than most other partners! That means that even if a vanilla partner might just say adios and let their girlfriend/boyfriend/Significant other out to head to a dentist or doctor alone…you might want to tag along. After all, one thing people forget about being a caregiver is how good it can feel to hold their hand and give them the strength to get that shot they’re scared to get alone. It’s the difference for your little of being so scared they cry and get frustrated and embarrassed and overwhelmed alone…and having you there, and feeling safe, and just a little nervous, and maybe even wanting to share their own affection and kindness with you more, because they KNOW you didn’t have to come and chose to.
This also means that there will be times you let them head out alone and get the nervous call or text saying “Can you come too?” or “Can you give me a ride home?” or even “I could really, REALLY use some backup/company. I know you’re busy but…can you make it?”
Those are the moments a good caregiver, particularly one who is more heavily invested or experienced in the ddlg/ddlb/mdlg/mdlb/cgl dynamic will wake up and realize they’re not just wanted…they’re needed. So when that call comes…strap on your boots, put on your proverbial big-boy pants (or big girl, if you’re so inclined) and deal with it! There’s nothing about being a caregiver that is especially easy, except for knowing that you want to help them, that you want to be there for them…and that at the end of the day, you chose a partner who needed you too, and you love it.
Did I miss any tips? Do you think my checklist is too short, or too long? Let me know in a comment, message, reblog! Thanks for reading!
-Scribbler
Absolutely amazing
Awww, now I’m blushing! Thanks, really! 😉
Sadie: HA! I’ve been doing the “Phone? Wallet? Keys?” checklist with my boss for about 5 years now. Never fails. 😛
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